I think boredom has to be one of the main reasons for relapsing into drug use. I am so fucking bored and I don’t even know how to have fun without drugs and I don’t have any friends who understand me who aren’t on drugs. I mean, I have non-druggie friends, but they don’t like being around me when I’m this much of a mess. I am depressed and moody and no fun to be around and everything they ever want to do involves food. So I can’t hang out with any of my friends. My druggie friends will want me to do drugs with them, which I’m kind of trying to avoid. And my other friends will want me to eat with them or go somewhere where there’s lots of food and eating and I am definitely trying to avoid that.
So I’m bored and lonely and this is not even worth it.
What the fuck have I done?
Fuck everything, I just ate a whole boiled egg plus another one minus the yolk. I wasn’t supposed to eat anything today.